Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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