My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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