I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize