The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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