You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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