why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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