i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
