So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
