But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
