I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
