Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
