I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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