the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish you could order shots online.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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