No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
