Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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