I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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