Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
