I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
