i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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