whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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