I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
