i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
