Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
