It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
