It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
