I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
