i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
