I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
