You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
