Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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