i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
