If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need water and some morals
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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