Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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