everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize