Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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