As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
