Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
