He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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