i would punch a child for taco bell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
