Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
