we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
