last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
