you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
