you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize