ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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