I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
