Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
