worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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