well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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