Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's shark week go big or go home
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
