Say something about gay babies.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
