You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
