Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize