i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize