Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
this is an emotional support booty call
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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