i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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