wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
