The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize