Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
