i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
