His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize